It Could Never Happen To Me ...

I finished my hard day of work. I grabbed what I needed to head home and got into the car. I turned on my cell phone and called my wife to find out what was up for the afternoon/evening. I was definitely not prepared for what I heard.

The voice on the other end of the line said, "Sofia got her ears pierced today." Huh?! Did I just hear that right? What is the date, because it's a little early for an April Fool's joke.

"She got her ears pierced?" "Yes," was the reply. I honestly don't remember most of what was said for the remainder of the phone call. All I could think of was the fact that my little girl was a little less little. She had pierced ears!

Growing up, pierced ears were reserved for girls who were about to enter womanhood. Sure, call me old-fashioned, but this is a big deal! These are not some temporary decoration that can be discarded at a later time. This is kind of a permanent thing. It's right up there with getting a 30-year mortgage, saying "I do", or getting a tattoo. This is pretty much irreversible.

The scary part is not so much the irreversibility of the physical aspect, but the irreversibility of the emotional aspect. Whenever I look at my daughter from now on I will see her pierced ears and be reminded that she won't be my little girl forever. That one day she will grow up. Today, she grew a fairly measurable amount and a little piece of my little girl is gone forever.

Yet, I am trying to deal with this as best as I can. I remind myself that she is still only 3 years old. She still orders off the kid's menu at restaurants, and sits in a car seat. There are still many more milestones to pass before my little girl is but a distant memory. No one told me that fatherhood would be like this.

Right now, I can just look at my not-so-little girl and say, "Your earrings are pretty. I like them a lot."

Say What?!

My local paper ran a story today focusing on one aspect of poor, black community in Omaha, NE. The aspect it focused on was the seemingly endless cycle of unwed, teenage mothers in this community. The story features Samona, 31, and Keyana, 16. Samona is Keyana's mother. They both just had a baby this year-- Keyana her first, and Samona her 12th. The following is a quote from the news article:

Of the seven men who fathered Samona's children, only one is steady on child support and another pays occasionally. Three were last known to be in jail. One remains married to someone else. All drop in and out of the kids' lives.

Samona's current beau, Tony, is the father of her youngest four.

Samona loves him but can't envision them married.

He cooks and helps watch the kids. He also has a criminal record, which hurts employment prospects. Even if he had a job, Samona says, his five children from a previous relationship would share any child support.

What benefit would marriage bring, she asks, if the husband can't offer her a higher standard of living?

Say What?!

OK... forget the fact that Samona has had children from 7 different men. That last line hit me like a ton of bricks! "What benefit would marriage bring ... if the husband can't offer ... a higher standard of living?"

Let's see....
Marriage could possibly offer at least the following things:
1. A stable family structure for the children.
2. A second adult at home to provide moral support and encouragement when times are tough.
3. An example of adults taking responsibility for their actions (i.e., the kids).
4. At least some measure of second income to help provide for physical needs.

I took all of 25 seconds and came up with those four benefits that a marriage could provide. Do we as a society honestly only view marriage in terms of what we can get from it?!

Samona very clearly defined the problem of not only unwed mothers in the black community, but in any community. The cycle of unwed mothers continues because we have a very wrong view of marriage. Of course, if marriage is only there to give us a "higher standard of living" then why should someone get married -- unless to someone rich? It is clear to me that if any community is going to break this cycle they must first change their view of what marriage is all about.

Read the full article here:
http://www.omaha.com/index.php?u_page=2798&u_sid=10296434

Going Mobile

My 13-month-old son crawled today! Finally!
He has been making attempts at crawling for the past month. He finally got everything working together. This means we have to re-baby-proof the house. So, my wife dug out the gate for the stairs.
Stair gates are both a blessing and a curse. The obvious blessing is that they keep the kids from tumbling down the stairs. The curse is the fact that it becomes inconvenient to go up and down the stairs. You find yourself doing strange things to keep from having to use the stairs. For example, the TV is downstairs. This means that I will likely go days without watching TV just to avoid going downstairs. For some reason, my wife doesn't think that this is just cause to spend money on a flat screen HDTV for the upstairs.
We must also move books, magazines, and other odds and ends high enough off the floor so that they are out of reach. We find that we quickly run out of shelf space.
The biggest concern comes from the small particles of food and other items that often end up on the floor and go unnoticed. Stray cheerios are not so big an issue. Aside from the disgust factor of eating something that has lain in a shadowy crevice for 3 days, not much legitimate harm can come from them. The bigger concerns are in the form of forgotten play-doh peices, shards of plastic wrapping, and the rare- but highly interesting- toenail clipping. These, and similar dangerous nuisances, are a bane to the parents of a mobile child.
So, if you read a blog in the next few weeks that seems disjointed and possibly unfinished, be sure that I have had to drop my train of thought to do immediate intervention for my son.

Interviews

Two weeks ago I had the opportunity to interview for a new position with the school district. It was both exciting and informative. I had been seeking an interview for the past two years. Here are some observations I drew from my experience.
Observation 1: Always be prepared. I received a call on a Friday and was asked if I would like to interview the next Thursday. I tried to take some time to prepare for the interview, but it quickly occurred to me that I did not have as much time as I would have liked. The evening before the interview I came to the conclusion that my last-minute preparations would not do me much good anyway. It was like cramming for an exam in undergrad. If I did not know what I was talking about by now, I wouldn't know any more just be reading and looking over a bunch of material a few nights before.
Observation 2: What you say is important, but how you say it is just as important. The interview was set up as a series of 5 stations. Each station allowed me to demonstrate my readiness for a different aspect of the prospective position. At several stations I did some written work and then was asked some oral questions regarding the information. It became quite apparent that how I was presenting myself was just as important as the content of my words. It was clear that the interviewers were looking for poise, clarity, and good eye contact.
Observation 3: Don't overthink it. This interview process was not as harrowing as I had expected. Don't get me wrong. I wasn't given just a handful of softball questions and then I was done. But, the majority of the questions were things that I had expected and already deal with on a daily basis. It would have been easy for me to over-analyze the questions and become redundant and verbose in my answers trying to impress the panel. This would have simply demonstrated my ability to be a windbag. Instead, I found it much more relaxing and effective to give clear and brief answers. Often I would give just enough of an answer to allow the interviewers to deduce that I knew what I was talking about. If they wanted expansion they would ask follow up questions. This allowed the interview to be less one-sided and more interactive. It also allowed me to simply be myself and not get too uptight.
Observation 4: Leave them something to remember you by. This is obviously a no-brainer. I interviewed with a group of at least 10 people that day. We all went through the same 5 stations and were staggered throughout the day. I was right in the middle of the group. There was at least one other day that another group of candidates went through the same process. I had to give them something to remember me by. I was prepared to do this (see observation #1 above). I made sure to work in the fact that I was probably the only candidate they interviewed that day that had the educational background that I do. I made sure they were aware that I not only attended public schools growing up, but also private schools, and was also homeschooled. I delivered this tidbit purposefully, and it was immediately apparent that the panel found this interesting. I could also tell they wanted to know more, but were restrained because of the format of the interview process. I know they went away wondering about my particular experiences and how they would be an asset to the district.
I have yet to hear back on the results of the interview. I was told that they would be making decisions starting in the middle of March through the end of April. I also know from past experience that they could call me the day before school starts next year and offer me a position. So, we shall see how well I fare.

Books, books, books...

Lately I have allowed much of my free time to be eaten away by reading some new books. I know, I know ... I haven't even finished all the other books I had already started. Actually, I did finish "By His Grace And For His Glory" and "No Excuses: Closing the Racial Gap in Learning" and "The Cross-Centered Life". Those were each informative and motivational.
I went to a new book store that opened up a couple weeks ago. They buy and sell books, so you can find a whole bunch of hidden treasures there. I bought two books. One is a small book called "The Cathedral and the Cube". It looks at the differences in the American and European worldviews. The premise is that the difference stems from the fact that Europe has largely become secularized while the U.S. still has a modicum of Judeo-Christian sensibility left. It was written by a catholic so the author's idea of "Christian" doesn't always fall exactly in line with me, but overall it is a very insightful book.
The other book I picked up is titled, "No Excuse Leadership: Lessons from the Army's Elite Rangers". Of course, after seeing the title I just had to pick it up. It was only $7 after all. While some rough army language appears from time to time in the book, the principles are sound and thoughtful. The special forces have always intrigued me. I always thought that if I had joined the military I would have wanted to end up in some type of special forces unit. If you are going to do something you might as well go all out and be the best you can be. The military has been very successful in developing leaders so I knew I would find some useful nuggets in the book.
The men's group at church have also started a new book -- "The Joy of Fearing God" by Jerry Bridges. I know several people that have read this book previously and they all highly recommended it. I am looking forward to starting it.
Don't worry. I am still making my way through "The World is Flat."