Say What?!

My local paper ran a story today focusing on one aspect of poor, black community in Omaha, NE. The aspect it focused on was the seemingly endless cycle of unwed, teenage mothers in this community. The story features Samona, 31, and Keyana, 16. Samona is Keyana's mother. They both just had a baby this year-- Keyana her first, and Samona her 12th. The following is a quote from the news article:

Of the seven men who fathered Samona's children, only one is steady on child support and another pays occasionally. Three were last known to be in jail. One remains married to someone else. All drop in and out of the kids' lives.

Samona's current beau, Tony, is the father of her youngest four.

Samona loves him but can't envision them married.

He cooks and helps watch the kids. He also has a criminal record, which hurts employment prospects. Even if he had a job, Samona says, his five children from a previous relationship would share any child support.

What benefit would marriage bring, she asks, if the husband can't offer her a higher standard of living?

Say What?!

OK... forget the fact that Samona has had children from 7 different men. That last line hit me like a ton of bricks! "What benefit would marriage bring ... if the husband can't offer ... a higher standard of living?"

Let's see....
Marriage could possibly offer at least the following things:
1. A stable family structure for the children.
2. A second adult at home to provide moral support and encouragement when times are tough.
3. An example of adults taking responsibility for their actions (i.e., the kids).
4. At least some measure of second income to help provide for physical needs.

I took all of 25 seconds and came up with those four benefits that a marriage could provide. Do we as a society honestly only view marriage in terms of what we can get from it?!

Samona very clearly defined the problem of not only unwed mothers in the black community, but in any community. The cycle of unwed mothers continues because we have a very wrong view of marriage. Of course, if marriage is only there to give us a "higher standard of living" then why should someone get married -- unless to someone rich? It is clear to me that if any community is going to break this cycle they must first change their view of what marriage is all about.

Read the full article here:
http://www.omaha.com/index.php?u_page=2798&u_sid=10296434